The Dude is Rude
Dear Claire:
My husband and I have a great
relationship, and he is a great father to our two children. He was
married twice before, and each time left his current wife to chase
after another.
What bothers me is that every time
we are out diving the car or at a restaurant, he has wondering eyes
at women walking by, the waitress, or whomever. I’ve told him I
don’t like that and that I feel displaced, but he only tries to
conceal where his eyes are going. When I confront him, he just
smiles and says I’m imaging things, or that he’s just being a normal
guy. He says he loves me, and I want to believe that, but it’s
getting a little old.
Fed Up in
Restaurants
Dear Fed Up,
With his track record and the bull
he’s giving you about just being a normal guy, it’s no wonder you’re
concerned.
Women who are in “great”
relationships are never made to feel that every stranger in the room
is better that she is. He claims to love you, but seems unable to
curb a behavior that is obviously hurtful.
I urge you to examine your “great”
relationship in depth, preferably at a counselor’s office, and then
decide if you can live with this or if you should tell Bubba to see
if any one of them chicks will cook his dinner.
Wonderwoman Spread Thin
Dear Claire,
My husband’s
business failed a few years ago, and so I went back to work to make
the house payments. I’ve got a wonderful job with good pay, and
really enjoy my officemates. My husband “Larry” has tried different
jobs and nothing seems to stick, and he usually ends up back at home
watching T.V.
We have three
wonderful children, aged two to twelve. When I get home from work,
the house is a mess. The dogs roam in and out of the house, the
laundry is not done, and the kitchen counter is piled with dirty
dishes. I am tired after work, Claire, but have to make dinner for
the kids, clean up and rest before going back to work the next day.
Larry and I get in big arguments
and there is lots of tension, but somehow he’s a great lover and I
forget about it all by the next morning.
I love my husband, but feel
trapped in an endless cycle of work. Any ideas?
Washing Dishes in Toledo
Dear Washing,
First of all, your
husband is yelling with a bullhorn that he will NOT keep house.
Understand that no amount of nagging will change that.
You say you have a
decent income, so hire help. Get your house cleaned up and the
laundry done while you are at work, at least to keep your sanity.
Your husband may
be – surprise! – sinking into a depression that is sapping his
vitality and self-confidence. It’s not much of a stretch, is it?
Make an appointment
with his doctor or counselor, as he may lack the energy to do this
for himself. And cut the nagging, for Chrissake.
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