High and Dry

Dear Claire,

I come from a family that has always enjoyed a glass of wine or cocktail with the evening meal, and certainly at Christmas dinner.

One of my sisters invited my parents and another sister to her home for Christmas and encouraged this visiting sister to bring a friend of hers as well.  When they arrived, she asked them what they would like to drink.  My visiting sister replied "what do you have?" and she was offered a short list of sodas.  Apparently my hostess sister had made a decision to stop serving alcohol for one of several changing reasons she only shared when asked.

My question is this.  When you invite family and their friends to your home for a holiday visit, don’t you have an obligation to guests to tell them that it will be “alcohol free” before they arrive?

Dry in Philadelphia

Dear Dry,

You mean, when you come expecting free alcohol and it turns out to be alcohol-free?

I was under the impression that, when accepting anyone’s hospitality, you graciously accept the host’s decisions as to foods and drinks (except for food allergies and religious restraints) instead of questioning it.  The hostess might have considered the matter of alcohol not worthy of mentioning.

But what would be the alternative?  Not to come unless there is booze?  Bring your own and drink directly from a flask?  Come over already soused?

Can't Get it Right

Dear Claire,

I’m a girl in middle school and have a problem.  People always say you should follow your dreams do what you want to, so I’m trying to get on the volleyball team.

The problem is my dad.  He keeps making it seem I can’t do anything right.  Slowly I’m starting to think I can’t really do anything right, just like he says.  I feel sadder and sadder and I’m not sure if it’s because of my dad’s comments or because I’m losing faith in myself.

Can’t Get It Right

Dear Right,

At this time of your life you will try a bunch of different stuff in order to find out where your true talents lay.

Just go to volleyball practice and dedicate yourself to it.  Eventually you’ll figure out if volleyball is for you or not.  If it is, great.  If it’s not, then move on to something else.  There is nothing wrong in looking for yourself.

Whatever you do, make sure your school work is well taken care of.  I know it’s hard to believe, but a lot of good stuff in your life will come from your efforts.  Respect from your parents and friends will bring you pride in yourself and make you truly believe you can do anything.