It's "Teen Day" at
Claire's
I've
got so many letters from teenagers this week, here's a special
double issue just for teens and those that care about them.
Read on...
Baseball Game
Dear
Claire,
I'm
a 14-year-old girl and I have had three boyfriends, and nothing ever
“happens” with them. Not that I want to go really far, but all of
my girlfriends have gotten to first base except for me.
It
seems to me that guys like me as a friend and nothing more. How can
I get guys to see me as girlfriend material not just another pal?
Tomboy
Dear
Tomboy,
Girlfriend, whatever you do, pleeeeeease promise me you won’t just
get to ANY bases with some guy just to get it over with. This never
works well, trust me.
You
could try tempering your tomboyish self with some of your girly
self. It might help it if guys see you dressed as a girl (and I
said girl, not slut) once in awhile. Just to remind them you’re a
chick and darn proud of it. You still would be your old self, of
course, but who ever said that your old self has only one side?
Tender Shoots
Dear
Claire,
Love… such a gift and a burden. But what if it is true love?
I
have loved a guy since I was 8 (we are 14 now) and he used to feel
the same way. Now he avoids me, but still gives me the same “look”
as when we were closer. I tried to talk to him, but apparently
things go around quickly and his friends surround him like an angry
sea. I feel hopeless and know I should move on and forget him, but
I truly love him.
What
should I do?
Pathetic Lizard In Love
Dear
Lizard,
There
is nothing much you can do. He’s not strong enough to even talk to
you, let alone open up regarding his feelings. It seems that
whatever his crowd thinks is more important than what you want.
Drop
this loser like he’s a hot potato.
Believe
me, if you wait long enough and keep yourself busy, this desperate
love feeling will pass. Give other cute guys a chance and next
thing you know, you’ll be with someone who really values you.
Cuts in Hands
Dear
Claire,
I am
14 years old and I often doubt myself. I don't have very high
self-esteem at all, so this is a large part of the problem.
I
noticed cuts on my friend’s hands. When people ask him what the
scars are from, his answer is always the same and said with almost a
smirk on his face, that some are from sharp plastic, a pin, and even
an eraser burn. At first, I thought they were just accidents but
then I realized that accidents rarely happen more then once with the
same thing and I noticed that the marks on his hands were growing.
I
don't know if I should tell the counselor and have the counselor
have a talk with us, just talk to him or if I should confront him
with my worries and talk to him myself.
Friend
Dear
Friend,
Go to
the counselor ASAP and tell her what you have told me. She (or he)
will probably talk to your friend alone. You may want to ask your
parents to talk to his parents, as this is very serious. And one
more thing, please don’t tell your other friends about it. This
poor guy has problems enough without the stigma of being a cutter.
Too Much Too Soon
Hey
Claire,
How
do you tell a friend that she needs to stop running after guys
without being mean?
Concerned Friend
Dear
Concerned,
I don’t
care what anybody says: guys just don’t like girls who chase them.
Period. They don’t like the needy, whiny chicks who’ll cheapen
themselves by sticking to a boy like a cat on a sweater.
Sometimes a guy will take advantage when a situation presents
itself. They will not say “no” to a girl, but will enjoy her a bit
and dump her after a few dates. Happens eeeeevery time.
So,
about your friend… she may not have asked your opinion, so let the
results speak for themselves. When she starts wondering why she
feels used up by boys and/or men, then you may want to point this
all out to her.
Dreamer
Dear
Claire,
I
can't get a former boyfriend off my mind. We were only children
when we met – 9 to 12 years old. He was my "boyfriend" for three
years and our relationship was very innocent, but there was
something about our interactions with each other that make me feel
as though we are soul mates.
We
haven't had contact in nearly six years, but as of lately, I can't
stop dreaming about him, about what it would be like if we were to
find each other again, reestablish a relationship, and fall back in
love with each other and get married. I dream that he still has
feelings for me and thinks about me as much as I think about him.
I'm sure he has moved on with his and probably doesn't remember me,
much less still have feelings for me.
I'm
almost 20 years old and have not yet even kissed anybody else. What
should I do? Should I seriously explore trying to get back in touch
with him or just move on with my life?
Nightmares of Dreams
Dear
Dreams
By all
means, look him up.
For one
thing, he could be ZEE ONE. You never know.
And for
another thing, you are stuck in a time warp and you need to get out,
for better or worse.
I think
time warps happen when we are not satisfied with life. If this is
true for you, you gotta examine your life (where it is and where it
is going), and figure out what would bring you satisfaction and do
something about it, for Pete’s sake. And I don’t mean just in the
guy department, but in everything else. Guys, as wonderful as they
are, are not all it takes for a complete life.
About
the never-been-kissed thing, stop freaking yourself out over it.
You’ll do plenty of kissing when you are good and ready and when
you find somebody with whom each kiss is a dream shared.
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