Give It to Me, Baby

Dear Claire,

I may be entirely wrong, but I was invited to an out-of-town bridal shower and was not able to attend.  I responded but did not forward a gift.

I later received a letter from the bride-to-be stating that she did not send me a wedding invitation because I probably couldn't go.  She added that it was rude of me not to send her a shower gift.

What?  Am I in the wrong, and should I apologize?

Stumped

Dear Stumped,

The only “wrong” thing you ever did was to associate yourself with this crass, classless, greedy bride-to-be.  If you ever send them anything, it should be condolences to the groom.

Step up to the Plate, Sister

Dear Claire,

I am 30 years old, divorced for two years, and mother of one.  My marriage ended mostly because of my ex-husband’s drinking and drug problem

He never got mean or anything during his bouts of drinking.  But he would be drunk while he was supposed to be watching our small child, and couldn’t see any problem with that.

He sees his daughter two nights a month.  I have always had concerns about what he does with her during these times.

Recently he got his fourth DWI, and has no driver’s license.  My child was NOT with him when he was arrested, but it is obvious he still can't control his problem.  He will probably have jail time and may never drive again for all I know.

My daughter is five years old now.  When she is playing with her doll’s tea set, she talks about beer.  She talks about going to the "bar store" while daddy drinks beers.  Leaving my daughter with a man who obviously can't control himself with alcohol is driving me crazy!  But my daughter absolutely adores her dad.

Should I go to court to seek full custody?  I don't want to be the person who "took her away from her dad," but that may be better than leaving her where she is.  What should I do?

Unsure

Dear Unsure,

Get your daughter away from this drunk as soon as possible, for crying out loud.

Explain to her that “daddy is sick right now.”  Explain in simple terms that some people have a kind illness that makes them want to drink all the time and they feel unable to stop.  Tell her that stuff they drink makes them sicker still and not able to do regular stuff, like driving a car, and they cause accidents all them time.  Daddy is not a bad man, it’s just that we don’t want to be in accidents, do we?

If you feel you can handle it, have him visit her at your home or a neutral place, under your supervision, and don’t let him take her anywhere alone, ever.

Holy Fashion 

Dear Claire,

What is the proper dress code for a woman at a Christening party, where they also have small weddings?

Angel

Churchy kinda stuff.

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