An Affair to Remember
Dear Claire,
My boyfriend and I became engaged last fall,
and we set the wedding date about 18 months
away. After much searching, we paid the
nonrefundable $2,000 deposit for my "dream come
true" reception site. Two months later, one of
my bridesmaids (who is also my stepsister), got
engaged and decided to get married before us.
Without so much as a whisper, she booked the
same reception site a for a date 11 months
earlier.
I feel a deep sense of hurt and betrayal.
Over the years, I had developed a genuine
affection and trust with my stepsister. Now,
everything has changed. My stepsister knew that
I searched for a special place where no one else
in my family had chosen before. Approximately
50 of the same guests will be attending the same
venue within the same year.
My stepsister thinks I’m being childish, and
that she had done nothing wrong. I do not know
if I can comfortably include her as my
bridesmaid anymore. What should I do?
Baffled in Boston
Dear Baffled,
I do agree that your sister fumbled by not
checking with you first.
I strongly disagree that your wedding will be
anticlimactic in any way whatsoever, and that
this faux pas is worth the loss of a sisterly
relationship and the amount of stress that it’s
placing on you.
Now, take the point of view of your guests.
For one thing, your weddings are a year apart.
Most people don’t remember whether or not they
peed in the last two hours. Your treasured,
expensive, painfully chosen gown? Within a
week, most people wouldn’t be able to describe
it. The menu you sweated over? Within two
days, nobody will remember, unless you serve
Cheese Whiz sprayed on pork rinds and Kool-Aid.
This is because the success of the party, or the
beauty of the wedding, is not defined by one
single factor, but a combination of impressions.
It’s true that every bride dreams of a perfect
day, but it is only a day among many, special as
it may be. Don’t sacrifice your sanity and
family harmony over it. Forgive your sister,
unburden your heart from this resentment and
have a wonderful wedding day.
Lost Connection
Dear Claire,
Recently I met someone I liked through a
mutual friend, and he asked me out on a date.
We had spoken for many hours on the phone, and I
felt very close to him, as I know he did to me.
However, when we finally went out (to a very
expensive restaurant and club), there was a lot
of awkwardness. I felt very shy and I think he
did too. We didn’t connect in the same way.
We said our goodbyes late that night; he
certainly didn’t want to go home. I called him
the next morning to thank him and that was that.
I do like him and would like to explore the
relationship. Should I wait to see if he calls,
or should I take the initiative and ask him do
to something that is a little more casual?
Yours with Great Expectations
Dear Great Expectations,
Nah.
I bet there has never been a case in the history
of the world where a guy who’s interested in a
woman fails to contact her in way or another.
It looks like he didn’t feel you guys clicked in
person and isn’t motivated to invest any more
time in hopes of future clickings. In other
words, his silence speaks volumes.
02050510586
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