Maine Dish
Dear
Claire,
I am
a shy, determined, self-conscious, friendly, and
scared 29-year-old. I moved away from Maine
eight years ago to join the Army and have lived
in Tennessee ever since.
I
miss Maine and my big family there, and think
about them every day. But it’s so cold there,
and outside my family, there’s not much
excitement.
Here
in Tennessee, I have been living with a guy for
two years, but I'm unhappy. I have no close
friends other than my boyfriend (and am not even
sure about him), and have been unable to find a
job.
I
have been thinking about leaving my boyfriend to
move back to Maine, but I don't know if that
would make me happy either. I did move back to
Maine for a year, but was bored.
In a
few months, I’m going home for three days to my
brother’s wedding. Part of me wants to make it
a one-way trip. Should I?
Unsure in Tennessee
Dear
Unsure,
Jeez, girlfriend, is your life out of whack or
what?
Firstly, let me point out the obvious. Location
has nothing to do with the magnitude of
suckiness of your professional and personal
life. You are not happy in warm, exciting
Tennessee, and you were not happy in cold,
familiar Maine. It’s not the cold, or warmth,
or the party situation. It’s not being away
from your family. It’s that you are adrift.
What
if you started with the job situation? Target
the area you want and start there. If you want
to be closer to the folks, by all means, start
with Maine. Your first job may not be the
perfect, cream-puff job we all want. So what?
Get something and get going.
Next, your relationship. Tell boyfriend that
you are on the move to self-improve. Hey, he
might want to come along and try something of
his own, but that’s up to him. This could
re-energize you relationship or end it for
good. It all depends on what kind of feelings
you guys have left for each other.
Finally you, Tinkerbell. What is it that you
want for yourself? Nobody can answer that but
you, so I suggest you give it some serious
thought.
Dear Claire,
My daughter is getting married in New York
City this September. My immediate family does
not live in the area, but I have to invite them
to the wedding.
It would be impossible for me to pay for
their hotel stay, and I don't think all of them
have the necessary funds to pay for their travel
expenses. I know it becomes quite expensive to
attend a wedding in another state.
I would like to let them know that I want
them to attend the wedding and share our joy,
but I’m not able to have them stay at my home.
We live in a two-bedroom apartment.
What is the best way to let them know this
without offending some of them? I know it
sounds like an easy thing to do but, honestly,
it is driving me crazy. I know how some of them
think and I can hear their commentaries already.
Should I include telephone numbers for hotels
with the invitation? What do you think?
Mother of the Bride
Dear Mother,
You are not obligated to provide transportation
and hotel to wedding guests, but here is an
idea. Do you have a few really good friends and
close relatives who could host your visitors
overnight? If each friend could house one or
two of your out-of-town guests, you could save
yourself the worry.
If you don’t have people who are willing to
help, send a little note along with the
invitation telling them how terrible you feel
that you are not able to provide
accommodation/ transportation, but that you’d be
glad to help them find affordable hotels nearby.
And don’t worry about their comments and
gossip. If they are so insensitive as not
understand your situation, then their opinions
don’t matter.
02050514670
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