Share the Cutie Already
Dear Claire,
I have been dating a great guy for the past
six months. His ex just delivered their baby
girl a few days ago, and I am dying to see her!
All of our friends have seen her, and I feel so
left out.
I understand she has not accepted the fact
that he has moved on, because I went through the
same thing four years ago when I got divorced.
I knew about the baby before we started dating
each other, and have been very supportive. I
have never said anything negative about the
mother, even though I know she planned this
pregnancy without my boyfriend knowing she had
stopped taking the pill.
I just feel so hurt that the mother will not
let me even see her.
Girlfriend
Dear Girlfriend,
I know you have good intentions, but this is not
your place. You’ll get to see the baby aplenty
when it’s time for dad to have visitation. It’s
possible for current girlfriends to have cordial
relationships with the exes. In this case,
though, the woman just gave birth, and is
probably feeling exhausted and vulnerable.
Remember what a rollercoaster the post-partum
period is? She’s not ready for you.
Send a card congratulating her on the new baby
and let it go. Do no more unless you’re
invited.
Hands Off
Dear Claire,
Recently my boyfriend Jimmy and I have been
hanging out with a girl he knows from high
school. He got her a job at the restaurant
where we both work.
Although she has a boyfriend, she and Jimmy
flirt. He says it is not flirting, but I
disagree. The other night we were hanging out
(her boyfriend was there too) and she kept
kicking and punching Jimmy in the arms and
legs. Then they started chasing each other
through the hallway and once almost knocked me
over. I found it very inappropriate, but no one
seemed to have a problem with it.
When I tried to explain to Jimmy that it was
upsetting me, he just blew it off and told me I
was "crazy" and I'm just being oversensitive.
Should I have said something to the girl? I
just felt disrespected.
Feeling Bad in Virginia
Dear Feeling,
I definitely think that this chick is
encroaching in your territory. This punching
and kicking is just a way to have physical
contact and getting away with it. It’s possible
that Jimmy doesn’t see this for what it is,
since dipping a girl’s braids in the inkwell as
a sign of attraction usually ends by the third
grade.
The problem, really, is that he just gave you
the brush off. I don’t care whether it’s really
flirting or she just thinks she’s being
adorable. I care that he dismissed your
feelings, right or wrong.
Have a little chat with Jimmy boy. This girl’s
behavior may not be a problem for anyone else,
but it is for you and that’s plenty. It’s his
job to tell her to cut it out, or else you guys
should hang out with other friends, the ones who
don’t need to get their hands on your boyfriend
every so often.
02-050526-531
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