Bridge over Troubled Waters
Dear Claire,
Almost three years ago I drove 3,000 miles to
be with my parents because my father was very
sick. One month later, my father shot himself
to death. Everyone was shocked because his
nickname was "Happy".
Oddly enough, my family abandoned me, except
for my aunt. Recently I found out that she and
my mother never liked each other. My aunt said
my mother was "dumb and pitiful”, and that my
mother and brothers caused the suicide. Then,
two years later she also added that I caused the
suicide too.
Lately, her comments to me have gotten
bizarre. She said, “You don't get along with
anyone.” “You can't hold down a job.” “Oh,
you'll never get married. You're almost 50!” I
have never said anything in response to my 83
year-old aunt's outbursts out of respect. Could
you please tell me if I should respond to her,
and if so, how?
Kathryn
Dear Kat,
Chapter One – Please tell me that all parts of
you understand that no one caused your dad to
take his own life. He may have felt unable to
cope with his illness.
Chapter Two – Have you discussed the abandonment
bit with anyone in your family? If not, then do
it. Find out what happened. People respond to
grief in bizarre ways sometimes, especially
grief from a suicide. Survivors often feel
responsible in some way. Forgive your family
their moments of insanity and do your best to
mend bridges. Life is once.
Chapter Three – Talk about insanity. It seems
that Auntie may be suffering from dementia.
Weird and untrue comments are common in these
cases. If she has children or relatives near
her, you may want to warn them that Auntie is
“acting strangely”. It’s possible they have
noticed too.
Mission Impossible
Dear Claire,
My friend and I are going on a mission trip
to Peru. I have my money but my friend is more
than $1,000 short. We've tried raffles, car
washes and asking for donations. We've asked
neighbors and friends and even stores like
Wal-Mart. It just seems that not a lot of
people or giving. The trip is soon and I really
want my friend to come. What can we do to raise
money?
Claire, I guess you may have figured I'm not
exactly a woman. We’re teenagers, but please
help.
In Need of Money
Dear Needy,
Dude, I don’t answer to women’s letters only.
I’ll try to help anyone who asks.
It’s a pity that your community is not more
supportive of your mission. It may mean that
this is not the right time for your friend. Can
you guys postpone it for a couple of months, get
temp jobs and raise the necessary funds? Could
his parents send him a little at a time once he
is in Peru?
By the way, you would be surprised how cheaply
you can survive in Peru. Even the airfare is
not that bad. If this is a church mission, you
could find families who would agree to host him
during your stay. You guys could camp, as the
weather is usually warm. Or he may come back
sooner that planned. It’s better than nothing
at all.
Hope this helps.
02-060114-540
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